–From: A Professor’s Opening Lecture for “Intermediate Killer Shark Genre.”
So you all think you know a thing or two about killer shark films, hmm? Well, take out your notebooks because here’s your first lesson: you fucking don’t know shit about killer shark films. Write that down three times. Then circle it and draw some jagged teeth protruding from the top and bottom so it looks like a shark is eating your notes. That is the format all of your essays should be in, by the way, with little teeth and dorsal fins all over the place. I don’t care if Word doesn’t have a shark font. Make it happen.